Somedays Aren’t Yours At ALL

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“Somedays aren’t yours at all,
They come and go
As if they’re someone else’s days
They come and leave you behind someone else’s face
And it’s harsher than yours
And colder than yours”

Regina Spektor
Soviet Kitsch

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A path was made for her 

She thought of what led her to this moment 

Many times she made decisions blindly with no thought of what kind of ripple effect

These decisions would create in her future self

She didn’t care

She just wanted to feel

To be in the moment

Most days of her life

She walked with shoulders slouched

With an apprehensive chin 

Not completely hidden but not fully upright in her height

With Years

Memories, successes, travel, jumping in waterfalls, swimming in seas,

 Failures, wins, hard work, yes’s, no’s, What the fucks!!!! Hell Yes’s!!!

Can’t believe I am here! Can’t believe this is happening moments!

Then

LOVE

This concoction of experiences led her to a taller stance 

She felt invincible 

She felt secure 

She felt magic

She almost felt like she was leading the life she wanted

Everything she could imagine and dream of

Then

CRASH

You

Made a decision

 Unexpectated

One that affected me and the life I thought I was leading

A fool

I feel

Was I blind this whole time?

Did I make this up?

Was this all a dream?

Maybe I’m Alice?

I do feel small

I do feel large

Depending on the amount I take

I was pushed and shoved down a path

I was forced on it

To trip down it

You held a gun to my heart 

I never thought you would actually shoot

But when you did

It did not kill me, sometimes I wish it had

Instead it left a hole

A massive, open, gaping, oozing 

Hole

I’m slowly being sucked into it

I don’t want to be 

I want to be strong and pull myself out

I try everyday, every thought, every breath

To release

To let go

To forget

Till

I don’t have to

Till it’s just another day

Just another path

Just another scar

 

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